Laying Down the Law, Jason's Law

So basically I'm like kicking butt and taking names at work. Our server space is getting full FAST like me when I buy the all you can eat burrito deal at Senior Pancho's Loco Burrito Buffett. If the server gets full basically the college would burn down to the ground and nobody knows what to do. My boss Steve is just freaking out basically in the corner shaking. I slap him around and freakin’ try to make him get himself together but it’s no use. So I realize that I have to take charge of the situation and straighten everything out, Deatherage style. I start racking my brainz on how to figure out where all the space is going. I’m like clicking freakin’ everything I can see when all of a sudden the window sorts… BY FILE SIZE. I guess I created some kind of scripting code with my combination of typing and clicking and I didn’t even realize it! So yeah I look over the evil-doers’ names and start letting my fingers do the dialing and my foot do the butt kicking.
I call up people and I’m all like, “Hey this is Jason, the IT Ninja, and guess what, you’re busted.”
And they’re all like, “What’s going on? Now I’m really scared.”
And I’m all like, “Well, let’s see. I think you have music in your My Music folder and I think you have pictures in your My Pictures folder. I think these things because YOU DO, AND I’M A GENIUS”.
And they’re all like, “Yeah so what? Can’t I just do whatever the crap I want?”
And then I’m all like, “Sure you can, if you want to ruin the college and make me go crazy on you!”
So needless to say people are bawling and vomiting and begging for me not to do anything to them.
So then I say, “Well you better freakin’ get that crap the freak off of there because I’m going to lose my cool here in a sec.”
So they all do, and I save the college literally like 20GB of space. Let’s see, I guess that puts the score to:
Jason da Ninja-5 bajillion
Everything going to crap – 0
So yeah, I guess I’m a little tired from all that. I think I’m going to open up our safe and get my lunch out and go listen to some music. I’ve got every Shania Twain song ever recorder on my computer and I’m busting out the jams. So basically, if anyone has a problem in the next three to seven hours, call Superman because this hero is busy. Man, I really want a burrito now.