The Boys are Back in Town

Whasss up? You guys probably thought I forgot about you. You probably said to yourself, “Holy crap, Jason forgot all about me and now my life is pointless and I'll have to spend my nights sleeplessly wondering what stuff he's masterminding now.” Well guess what, I did forget about you guys, except that I DIDN’T! Are you freaking kidding me, do you think the I.T. Ninja would forget about his hardcore fans? A Ninja never forgets. Elephants never forget either, but Ninjas have throwing stars that could freaking cut an elephant in half so yeah, I think we know how that story would end…with me doing a freaking back flip off an elephant corpse and kicking Steve in the head. Take that Steve!

So yeah, I didn’t go anywhere, I’ve just been in hiding. I had to meditate, and refine my Ninja skillz, and order all of season 2 of Desperate Housewives on Netflix (I also took the DH quiz and I am sooo a Gabrielle). See, I had to show you guys that I couldn’t always be around to freaking take care of all your problems in life.

Like when the printers weren’t mapping right and my wannabe, Eric, emails me and is like “Hey Jason, can I get you to tell me why these printers aren’t mapping automatically? I can’t do anything myself so why don’t you tell me what happened, and how to fix it, and then fix it for me, and then make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and cut off the crusts, and feed it to me, and then tuck me in with my blankie”
Yeah, I’ll make you a sandwich alright, a smack down sandwich, with a headbutt for dessert. I’m really sorry I can’t do your job for you but I’ve been busy giving freaking speeches to UTO and NASA and like anyone who works in IT, to teach everybody how much of a mastermind I was with coding. Then I had to go to dinner with President Crow so he could thank me for designing the Internet, and then I had to work on my Netflix app so I think October was a little bit too full for me to show you how to be my freaking apprentice.
Hey Eric, you want to be my apprentice? Okay, time for a business meeting: You’re fired, meeting adjourned.
Let's get something straight, you’re not my twin and if you were my twin, I would be too busy running away from the swarms of women that would follow us to do your job for you anyways.

So yeah, basically I’ve returned again like a majestic Phoenix out of the ashes that is all the crap that Steve broke, to save the freaking day and give the rest of my fans a reason to live again. How do I plan on finishing out the year? Hmmm, good question. I guess the way I started it, by being a technology genius, by revolutionizing everything at the college, and by putting each piece of Steve’s gum between my rosy cheeks while he isn’t around. Bon Appétit Steve.